Shis un tas iz humoraWhy didn`t the skeleton go to the party?
He had no body to go with! ^^^^^^^^^^ What do vampires have at eleven o`clock every day?
A coffin break! ^^^^^^^^^ Two Muffins were baking in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, "Holy Sh*t it`s hot in here!"
The other muffin says, "Holy Sh*t... A talking muffin!" ^^^^^^^^^^ 4 Stages of marriage: Mad for each other.
Made for each other.
Mad at each other.
Mad bcoz of each other. ^^^^^^^^^^ A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
While he`s in there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy`s an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn`t seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants s*x, don`t resist, don`t complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he`ll k*ll us. Be strong, honey. I love you."
To which his wife responds: "He wasn`t kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!" ^^^^^^^ A husband and wife were trying to set up a new password to their computer.
A husband, "Put `MYPENIS` " and the wife fell on the ground laughing cause on screen was error, "Error. Not long enough." |
